Yuppie Sherpa

I can’t remember where I first read it, but it’s been written so many times on the internet that I suppose the original source is long lost: Most people don’t want to be rich, they want to appear rich.

Two weeks ago I ordered a pizza for delivery. The delivery boy, who couldn’t have been older than 25, had a clear rock in his earring the size of a soybean. Very popular among the faux-homeboy crowd here in New Jersey.

Of course, he wants me to think it’s a diamond. Having spent many of my formative years delivering pizzas, I know it’s beer glass.

People buy, rent and lease lifestyles they can’t afford or haven’t earned for the sake of impressing others. Few people are fully able to overcome this desire. I know I’m not. But there does come a point at which you must exercise control over this destructive vice for your own benefit.

How to Buy Happiness

Happiness can be bought, or at least invested in. The trick is simply to spend your money on things that will make you happy — not things you hope will make people think more of you or things that will allow you to prove something to yourself.

And the first step to making this “purchase” is to know yourself and the ways you find happiness. Using myself as an example, here are some things that make me various degrees of “happy”…

1. Travel

Although I haven’t done so for a while, traveling to foreign places and immersing myself in the culture and beauty of my surroundings is an experience that not only makes me happy in the moment, but leaves me with memories and stories that outlast most material possessions.

2. Cats

Stop laughing. I realize it may seem like a strange item to place on such a list, but I have kept 1-2 cats at a time as pets for most of my life. I’m obviously not suggesting that you save up your money to buy the coolest cat in the store and put 22-inch rims on it. Being a pet owner, though, does cost money. Food, grooming and vet bills can become significant expenses. For me, these are all small prices to pay for the simple joy I receive from having a pet.

3. Food

I admit to being something of an aspiring “foodie”. I watch the Food Network and Anthony Bourdain religiously, I treat chefs the way most people treat celebrities, and I have been known to choose vacation spots based on the freshness of the local seafood. Because I have identified good food as something I enjoy more than blackout-drunk nights at the pub, I’m able to indulge in an evening of unpronounceable delights for less than what many my age spend in a weekend at the local watering hole.

4. Live Music

Having been raised on my parents’ music, I now have the opportunity to see many of these bands who have recently begun touring again. For me, better seats can turn a concert from good to great by enhancing the total experience. I also know that my opportunities to see these bands are fewer each year, so it’s worth the investment for me to see them live while I still can.

Your list may look nothing like mine, but it’s important to have a list. The alternative is to wake up at age 42 and realize you’ve become an expert on what others want, but have no idea what you want.

• Will you be happier inside your 1996 Accord now that you’ve spent $600 on chrome wheels?
• Would your BMW make you less happy if everyone knew you bought it used with 170,000 miles on it?
• Is anyone ever going to sleep in that 4th bedroom?
• Do you enjoy cracking open lobster claws, or telling people that your ordered it?

Ask yourself: What was the last thing I did that made me happy?

By looking to your past experiences, instead of trying to invent new ones, you evaluate investments you have already made (which is, of course, free).

Was it spending time with your spouse or family? Learning a new skill, whether for your career or simply for personal enrichment? Having a de-cluttered home? Doing some local volunteer work?

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